Oh Christ. I need to write a post about the scourge of online dating, especially from a male POV, since all we usually hear about it is from women a la how terrible men are. (They often are. But so are many women. Trust me. It's not about male or female but about the incentives of the online platform itself.) Thankfully, I am now engaged :)
Great piece! I for one have been sort of perpetually dating since I was 11 or so, and I've been "online" since the first sites came out. Maybe it even runs in the family--my mom met her second husband in the 'personals' in the back of the Bay Guardian. My experiences have been largely positive but all over the map for sure. Btw, I've never really heard it called the dating market -- maybe it's more like a one-armed bandit!
As to what stands out, well, it's just a series of word triplets right now:
irreverent independent iconoclast
fit funny fair
meditator man myself
cool clean cook
experienced edgy euphoric
able active artistic
free flying feminist
winning water writer
The next couple of chapters of my memoir in progress that I'm serializing here on Substack will deal with this subject a bit... https://bowendwelle.substack.com/s/memoir
beautiful! I keep up as I can... reading a little bit of Italian writing here on Substack now and then, and finding Netflix series like Suburra help. I spent 5 weeks in Corsica and Italy last summer-spending time there is what does the most (and even though Corsica is part of France, the language is much more like Italian than French, so I speak Italian there...)
I am online dating (it is my nightmare; the algorithm does not get me and I take that as a compliment). My asks are simple: "Must be able to tell time, do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it, and put the seat AND lid down. Also, if your BFF has 4 legs and a fur coat, we likely aren't compatible because I am legit allergic." (Seriously, my allergies are no joke.) 96% of the men who respond have a dog and/or cat pressed up against their face in photo #2, which is lovely but... I need to amend my asks to: "Must be able to read and comprehend the written word." xo
Man With One Foot in the Grave Looking for His Banana Peel: No, you probably won't inherit a damn thing, but you'll have a lot of laughs on the way out. I've done it all and seen it all, and no real desire to tell it all, but I probably will- over and over again. The most romantic thing I know is asking if you want to watch American Idol or a true crime show. Allow me my Alabama football and my New York Mets, and I will give you the world. I have my pup Seaver and hopefully you'll love him more than you can ever love me. There are a million things that I want to do yet, but if given the choice between doing one of them and getting an extra hours sleep- wake me in a hour. I love my kids and grandkids, but everyone else can kiss it. I'm way smarter than most everyone I know, but not nearly as smart as I think I am. In a world prime rib and filet mignon, I'm your frozen meat tube of 75% lean ground beef.
You may warm my heart, but it could be a hot flash is a killer line! Also liked the "favorite thing to do in bed: read."
I feel like I could fill out a super picky dating profile alternative with all my unique preferences.
Go for it. Anal profile-- for a straight guy.
Lmao that’s a good one
Oh Christ. I need to write a post about the scourge of online dating, especially from a male POV, since all we usually hear about it is from women a la how terrible men are. (They often are. But so are many women. Trust me. It's not about male or female but about the incentives of the online platform itself.) Thankfully, I am now engaged :)
Michael Mohr
"Sincere American Writing"
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/
Congrats on your engagement! Did you meet online?
We did! Hinge.
Great piece! I for one have been sort of perpetually dating since I was 11 or so, and I've been "online" since the first sites came out. Maybe it even runs in the family--my mom met her second husband in the 'personals' in the back of the Bay Guardian. My experiences have been largely positive but all over the map for sure. Btw, I've never really heard it called the dating market -- maybe it's more like a one-armed bandit!
As to what stands out, well, it's just a series of word triplets right now:
irreverent independent iconoclast
fit funny fair
meditator man myself
cool clean cook
experienced edgy euphoric
able active artistic
free flying feminist
winning water writer
The next couple of chapters of my memoir in progress that I'm serializing here on Substack will deal with this subject a bit... https://bowendwelle.substack.com/s/memoir
Love the excerpt and word triplets. Do you keep up with the Italian language? I have to learn. My daughter is engaged to an Italian.
beautiful! I keep up as I can... reading a little bit of Italian writing here on Substack now and then, and finding Netflix series like Suburra help. I spent 5 weeks in Corsica and Italy last summer-spending time there is what does the most (and even though Corsica is part of France, the language is much more like Italian than French, so I speak Italian there...)
Thanks for the laugh! My profile would simply say: Must love my dog more than you love me, and I'll promise to feel the same about you.
Oh yeah. Dogs are our furry babies. Glad you laughed! That's my goal.:)
I am online dating (it is my nightmare; the algorithm does not get me and I take that as a compliment). My asks are simple: "Must be able to tell time, do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it, and put the seat AND lid down. Also, if your BFF has 4 legs and a fur coat, we likely aren't compatible because I am legit allergic." (Seriously, my allergies are no joke.) 96% of the men who respond have a dog and/or cat pressed up against their face in photo #2, which is lovely but... I need to amend my asks to: "Must be able to read and comprehend the written word." xo
hahahahahahahahaha
There should be a dating app for people with pet allergies. Telling time is helpful. Haha. Tells the potential date that you have a sense of humor.
Comes with pets and just wants a bit of peace! 😂
Must love furry friends. 😃
Exactly!
Man With One Foot in the Grave Looking for His Banana Peel: No, you probably won't inherit a damn thing, but you'll have a lot of laughs on the way out. I've done it all and seen it all, and no real desire to tell it all, but I probably will- over and over again. The most romantic thing I know is asking if you want to watch American Idol or a true crime show. Allow me my Alabama football and my New York Mets, and I will give you the world. I have my pup Seaver and hopefully you'll love him more than you can ever love me. There are a million things that I want to do yet, but if given the choice between doing one of them and getting an extra hours sleep- wake me in a hour. I love my kids and grandkids, but everyone else can kiss it. I'm way smarter than most everyone I know, but not nearly as smart as I think I am. In a world prime rib and filet mignon, I'm your frozen meat tube of 75% lean ground beef.
Love this! LMAO. You need a substack too.