I am already nine days late to this party, so clearly I don't have EARLI, but I can't stand the idea of being late and other people waiting specifically for me. On New Year's, I was wildly boring and in bed by 9:00 pm. Fortunately, they did the fireworks here at 7:30 so it was all good! :)
I was friends with the children’s book author Richard Peck. One evening we were having dinner together in NYC. He was in his 80s by then. When he arrived, I said “You’re right on time.” He smiled and replied, “I’ve never been late a day in my life.” Not exactly the same as being chronically early, but it stuck with me.
Always love your posts and Happy New Year. We have adapted to the strangest of accommodations. It is great that you and Jeffrey are both early folks. I think nowadays, we are neither early or late, just punctual I guess. It wasn't always that way. I shaded toward late and my wife the opposite when we got to know each other. What changed everything? I guess time :) A number of years after marriage, we moved back to Minnesota to be closer to family. Thereafter we spent a lot more time with my in-laws. They were a wonderfully matched pair of people. When it came to being on time, they were the most curious of compromises. I think they were Minnesota Nice & On-Time. If you are not familiar with the expression Minnesota Nice -- it is a thing.
They were remarkably punctual. After many many years, they were coming over one time and I sent one of the boys out to get some last minute items. He broke the code. It turns out grandma and grandpa weren't going to show up early and surprise and perhaps make you uncomfortable. Neither would they be late as that was simply bad form. Instead, they simply left early and then patiently circled around the neighborhood as necessary and just showed up on time. He saw them circling when he left for the store. They were still circling when he returned with the items. I think I tried to adopt this way of being with time thereafter.
We eventually had a whole series of clocks in our home. I came to love the Sunday evening ritual of setting the grandfather clock. I especially wanted to be sure to have the phase of the moon reflected properly on the face. Winding the regulators was next. Finally, raising the weights for the cuckoo clock finished the sequence. I couldn't help but walk around the house with the portable atomic clock which was of course accurate and synced to the characteristic vibration of some element of the periodic table. Definitely more accurate than the digital time on the range. Perhaps a touch of OCD to have the varied chimes closely mimicking each other on the hour was the proximate reason for the atomic clock -- who knows. When occasional visitors were over I knew to silence at least some of the clocks. Our little thing wasn't for everybody.
My in-laws are gone now but it was a fabulously endearing trait. They were Minnesota Nice & On-time
While it is a bit off-topic I can't help but share one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite historical figures, Benjamin Franklin. I have to thank you for this wonderful post which tickled my memory to share it: "If you love life, then you love time, for time is what life is made of"
RE: Nice -- Minnesota Nice is a concept I was introduced to and made aware of when I first moved here. It has its upsides and downsides. Since you spent some time in Massachusetts I have a story you might enjoy. I had a roommate on my first stint in Minnesota who was from the Boston area. A Jewish guy who grew up in Brookline and now lives in Weston. We remain longtime friends. Anyhow, he was young at the time. He couldn't quite figure out Minnesota at the start but grew to love it. I remember him commenting to me how dumb Minnesotans seemed, polite enough to let people merge on the highway. He was just the stereotypical Boston driver, an a-hole who just went to the front of the line and merged in line late to cut in front. The point of the story is 3 years in Minnesota changed him and he came to understand there was more to life than getting to the front of the line. I can think of many other things that explain the consequences of thinking differently. That one makes the point pretty well though.
RE: Clocks -- My clock habit certainly became a ritual. I love clock stores -- they are a dying art. I have a man in his fifties that I can call on if I have a problem with one of our clocks. Once he is gone they will be largely be lost forever I am afraid. Even though they matter to me I could not give them away :)
RE: The Quote -- I just recently read the latest of the wonderful Walter Isaacson biographies. He has profiled Benjamin Franklin, Henry Kissinger, Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Doudna and Elon Musk so far. I have read them all except Kissinger. I've read enough about him for a lifetime already. All of them amazing. All of them consequential to the world in good and bad ways. MOST of them by all accounts also happen to be nice people. The books are very in-depth. The first one I read was Benjamin Franklin and it was fantastic. I recommend most of them. The only exceptions are Jobs and Musk. They are fascinating people but alas personally, perhaps through no fault of their own, but instead their upbringing and parents, just a-holes. I don't blame them, just don't want to read about them. Life is too short to be fascinated and wrapped up in the a-holes whatever it is they might accomplish.
I was brought up being a solid ten minutes late to every party. But I've since discovered I love prepping for a party, even if it isn't mine! I don't show up early, but I always offer. I'm also good with clean-up. We're those people who tend to hang around, which is a completely different essay....
Sadly, living on the east coast now, I start mine three hours before you do. On the other hand, I’d be super-early for yours, so good, no? I’ll bring my homemade challah.
Well, mom and dad had the EARLI gene. I know it skipped me! Occasionally, I am accidentally on time. Been working on time management most of my life. My papap repaired clocks; go figure!
Once arrived at a cocktail party at appointed hour of 6. Worried that we were too early (who ever arrives on time to a cocktail party) - but entered to a packed throng of people and some were leaving as we arrived. Now worried that we read the invitation wrong and were at least an hour late. Turns out the host had invited successive waves of people for two hour stints. Not everybody would fit in her apartment at once. We were in the second wave!
I'm EARLI but not like you and Jeffrey. And only for certain things. (read: NOT the Corp Hell Job) LOL My sister falls under the LATE Syndrome category. She's late to EVERYTHING. And I celebrated the New Year at home--it was Home Week for me, which was wonderful--reading.
This was hilarious. I'm an EARLI too, having inherited it from both of my parents. Somehow, my brother is not. To him, early is being just five minutes late. Your David Mamet story was incredible. If he'd heard you mutter "fuck" I bet he would have warmed right up to you.
I'm an on-timer, but my husband is an EARLI, so there is always some kind of conflict or stress because he's stressed if we leave to get there on time and I am never ready in time to be early. Plus I hate being too early (see your example of zoom room waiting awkwardly as example of why.)
As for New Year's, we went to a friend's house for dinner and arrived at 6:01pm. Technically late, but we would've been early if we hadn't had to drive back to our house after we set out when we realized we forgot the salad we were to bring. Remembered the dressing though! Happy New Year to you and yours. xo
I'm an early bird. But I will say, the only thing ruder than being late is being early. If you arrive early at my home for a party, expect to find me in my robe. I will be spot on time as noted on the invite, but the last thing I do is get ready, so expect me not to be if you're early. LOL. If I'm early to yours, I'll text you to see if you're up for some helping hands to set up...or still in your robe. In LA, I've learned to give ample time because traffic is an entity unto itself, defying logic at every turn (literally and literally, since now that also means figuratively...WTF), so I'm usually early (or spot on time), which means that my friends will be stuck in traffic and late. No biggie. Except for the chronic offenders. On the same side of town (or me driving to your side of town), where there are no excuses. I will (and have) ended friendships over being incurably tardy. They pick the date, time and place, and, if they are still late (having removed all potential passive-aggressive, needing-to-be-in-control factors), that's our last meal. Life is too short for people who haven't figured it out yet. xo
You are my people! I cannot abide being late. It drives me up a wall to think that I might not get somewhere on time, especially a doctor appointment. Yes, I know doctors always make you wait, but thats ok. My husband doesn't have my affliction. He is a procrastinator. It sends me over the bend, and the boys have a combination.
BTW did you see Mamet's talk with Bill Maher on Maher's podcast? It was terrific. Its on youtube.
I have been known to be late. A friend once gave me a license plate frame that said, "This is the earliest I've ever been late." Since then I've learned more than once a lesson about being late. And I've improved immensely. These days I'm on time and when it comes to the airport, I'm early!
I am definitely afflicted! I’m early for just about everything. It’s actually one of the reasons why I stopped wearing a watch, because I wanted to force myself to be less beholden to time. Of course, I was still early to everything because everyone has a phone with the time on it!💕
I spent a wonderful New Year’s Eve with my chosen family partying until the wee hours. It was wonderful. I hope you have an excellent 2025, and thank you so much for all of the articles. I love your writing! 💕
My mother used to say, "Early is on time." That stuck with me, and I LOVE being early. BUt I also know the flip side when hosting others, it can be unsettling when people arrive TOO early.
I also don't like meeting people that are ALWAYS late. I had a book coaching client that was late for every session. Not five or ten minutes, but often a half hour late. After putting up with it one too many times, I finally fired her. The disrespect I felt wasn't worth the money she was paying me.
I am already nine days late to this party, so clearly I don't have EARLI, but I can't stand the idea of being late and other people waiting specifically for me. On New Year's, I was wildly boring and in bed by 9:00 pm. Fortunately, they did the fireworks here at 7:30 so it was all good! :)
That's my kind of New Years-- 7:30pm fireworks.
Better late than not at all.
I was friends with the children’s book author Richard Peck. One evening we were having dinner together in NYC. He was in his 80s by then. When he arrived, I said “You’re right on time.” He smiled and replied, “I’ve never been late a day in my life.” Not exactly the same as being chronically early, but it stuck with me.
Happy new year!
Nice! Even in his 80s.
Always love your posts and Happy New Year. We have adapted to the strangest of accommodations. It is great that you and Jeffrey are both early folks. I think nowadays, we are neither early or late, just punctual I guess. It wasn't always that way. I shaded toward late and my wife the opposite when we got to know each other. What changed everything? I guess time :) A number of years after marriage, we moved back to Minnesota to be closer to family. Thereafter we spent a lot more time with my in-laws. They were a wonderfully matched pair of people. When it came to being on time, they were the most curious of compromises. I think they were Minnesota Nice & On-Time. If you are not familiar with the expression Minnesota Nice -- it is a thing.
They were remarkably punctual. After many many years, they were coming over one time and I sent one of the boys out to get some last minute items. He broke the code. It turns out grandma and grandpa weren't going to show up early and surprise and perhaps make you uncomfortable. Neither would they be late as that was simply bad form. Instead, they simply left early and then patiently circled around the neighborhood as necessary and just showed up on time. He saw them circling when he left for the store. They were still circling when he returned with the items. I think I tried to adopt this way of being with time thereafter.
We eventually had a whole series of clocks in our home. I came to love the Sunday evening ritual of setting the grandfather clock. I especially wanted to be sure to have the phase of the moon reflected properly on the face. Winding the regulators was next. Finally, raising the weights for the cuckoo clock finished the sequence. I couldn't help but walk around the house with the portable atomic clock which was of course accurate and synced to the characteristic vibration of some element of the periodic table. Definitely more accurate than the digital time on the range. Perhaps a touch of OCD to have the varied chimes closely mimicking each other on the hour was the proximate reason for the atomic clock -- who knows. When occasional visitors were over I knew to silence at least some of the clocks. Our little thing wasn't for everybody.
My in-laws are gone now but it was a fabulously endearing trait. They were Minnesota Nice & On-time
While it is a bit off-topic I can't help but share one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite historical figures, Benjamin Franklin. I have to thank you for this wonderful post which tickled my memory to share it: "If you love life, then you love time, for time is what life is made of"
Minnesota-nice. I wish that was a slogan for every state. NY-nice is an oxymoron. Hehe.
Your in-laws sound like wonderful people. 🙏 Sorry they are gone.
The clock habit seems like something you’d find in a clock store. 😊
Love the quote.
RE: Nice -- Minnesota Nice is a concept I was introduced to and made aware of when I first moved here. It has its upsides and downsides. Since you spent some time in Massachusetts I have a story you might enjoy. I had a roommate on my first stint in Minnesota who was from the Boston area. A Jewish guy who grew up in Brookline and now lives in Weston. We remain longtime friends. Anyhow, he was young at the time. He couldn't quite figure out Minnesota at the start but grew to love it. I remember him commenting to me how dumb Minnesotans seemed, polite enough to let people merge on the highway. He was just the stereotypical Boston driver, an a-hole who just went to the front of the line and merged in line late to cut in front. The point of the story is 3 years in Minnesota changed him and he came to understand there was more to life than getting to the front of the line. I can think of many other things that explain the consequences of thinking differently. That one makes the point pretty well though.
RE: Clocks -- My clock habit certainly became a ritual. I love clock stores -- they are a dying art. I have a man in his fifties that I can call on if I have a problem with one of our clocks. Once he is gone they will be largely be lost forever I am afraid. Even though they matter to me I could not give them away :)
RE: The Quote -- I just recently read the latest of the wonderful Walter Isaacson biographies. He has profiled Benjamin Franklin, Henry Kissinger, Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Doudna and Elon Musk so far. I have read them all except Kissinger. I've read enough about him for a lifetime already. All of them amazing. All of them consequential to the world in good and bad ways. MOST of them by all accounts also happen to be nice people. The books are very in-depth. The first one I read was Benjamin Franklin and it was fantastic. I recommend most of them. The only exceptions are Jobs and Musk. They are fascinating people but alas personally, perhaps through no fault of their own, but instead their upbringing and parents, just a-holes. I don't blame them, just don't want to read about them. Life is too short to be fascinated and wrapped up in the a-holes whatever it is they might accomplish.
I was brought up being a solid ten minutes late to every party. But I've since discovered I love prepping for a party, even if it isn't mine! I don't show up early, but I always offer. I'm also good with clean-up. We're those people who tend to hang around, which is a completely different essay....
Come ova. We have a Shabbat dinner every Friday.
Sadly, living on the east coast now, I start mine three hours before you do. On the other hand, I’d be super-early for yours, so good, no? I’ll bring my homemade challah.
Well, mom and dad had the EARLI gene. I know it skipped me! Occasionally, I am accidentally on time. Been working on time management most of my life. My papap repaired clocks; go figure!
Oh no. Papap can fix your internal broken clock. hehe.
Once arrived at a cocktail party at appointed hour of 6. Worried that we were too early (who ever arrives on time to a cocktail party) - but entered to a packed throng of people and some were leaving as we arrived. Now worried that we read the invitation wrong and were at least an hour late. Turns out the host had invited successive waves of people for two hour stints. Not everybody would fit in her apartment at once. We were in the second wave!
Brilliant idea. My step ma does an Open House for Christmas.
I'm EARLI but not like you and Jeffrey. And only for certain things. (read: NOT the Corp Hell Job) LOL My sister falls under the LATE Syndrome category. She's late to EVERYTHING. And I celebrated the New Year at home--it was Home Week for me, which was wonderful--reading.
Is sis late for New Years? Hehe.
Reading is ideal. 🥰🙏
No! Surprisingly enough. More than likely because she's in bed for the clock winds down. LOL
This was hilarious. I'm an EARLI too, having inherited it from both of my parents. Somehow, my brother is not. To him, early is being just five minutes late. Your David Mamet story was incredible. If he'd heard you mutter "fuck" I bet he would have warmed right up to you.
Haha. So true. Mamet was a cursing trailblazer in the playwriting world.
I'm an on-timer, but my husband is an EARLI, so there is always some kind of conflict or stress because he's stressed if we leave to get there on time and I am never ready in time to be early. Plus I hate being too early (see your example of zoom room waiting awkwardly as example of why.)
As for New Year's, we went to a friend's house for dinner and arrived at 6:01pm. Technically late, but we would've been early if we hadn't had to drive back to our house after we set out when we realized we forgot the salad we were to bring. Remembered the dressing though! Happy New Year to you and yours. xo
You and hubby compliment each other perfectly.
Oh the salad. Hope they enjoyed.
HNY! 🥰🙏
I'm an early bird. But I will say, the only thing ruder than being late is being early. If you arrive early at my home for a party, expect to find me in my robe. I will be spot on time as noted on the invite, but the last thing I do is get ready, so expect me not to be if you're early. LOL. If I'm early to yours, I'll text you to see if you're up for some helping hands to set up...or still in your robe. In LA, I've learned to give ample time because traffic is an entity unto itself, defying logic at every turn (literally and literally, since now that also means figuratively...WTF), so I'm usually early (or spot on time), which means that my friends will be stuck in traffic and late. No biggie. Except for the chronic offenders. On the same side of town (or me driving to your side of town), where there are no excuses. I will (and have) ended friendships over being incurably tardy. They pick the date, time and place, and, if they are still late (having removed all potential passive-aggressive, needing-to-be-in-control factors), that's our last meal. Life is too short for people who haven't figured it out yet. xo
Indeed! LA is tough. Especially if you have to go to the valley. Impossible to time traffic.
I have to reeeaaaaalllllly love you to go to the Valley. xo
Haha.
You are my people! I cannot abide being late. It drives me up a wall to think that I might not get somewhere on time, especially a doctor appointment. Yes, I know doctors always make you wait, but thats ok. My husband doesn't have my affliction. He is a procrastinator. It sends me over the bend, and the boys have a combination.
BTW did you see Mamet's talk with Bill Maher on Maher's podcast? It was terrific. Its on youtube.
1. Not exactly. I’m Chronically Obsessively Punctual (but not a COP).
2. I’m not late (see above). If lateness is unavoidable, I own it with “sorry.”
3. Sure. Whoever gets there first makes the coffee.
4. Slept right through it like every year since I turned 65.
Happy New Year, CK!
Nice. Thx. 🙏
I have been known to be late. A friend once gave me a license plate frame that said, "This is the earliest I've ever been late." Since then I've learned more than once a lesson about being late. And I've improved immensely. These days I'm on time and when it comes to the airport, I'm early!
Yay! 🥰🙏👏
My husband and I are always early too! Even when our kids were babies and toddlers and everyone assumed we’d be late for everything. Nope.
How did you managed that? I guess the feeding and poopie diaper can be changed at the party. Hehe.
I am definitely afflicted! I’m early for just about everything. It’s actually one of the reasons why I stopped wearing a watch, because I wanted to force myself to be less beholden to time. Of course, I was still early to everything because everyone has a phone with the time on it!💕
I spent a wonderful New Year’s Eve with my chosen family partying until the wee hours. It was wonderful. I hope you have an excellent 2025, and thank you so much for all of the articles. I love your writing! 💕
Thank you so much, Sheila. I’m honored you’re here. 🥰🙏
Love that you are still early without a watch. An internal clock?
Yup, and it’s pretty accurate.💕
My mother used to say, "Early is on time." That stuck with me, and I LOVE being early. BUt I also know the flip side when hosting others, it can be unsettling when people arrive TOO early.
I also don't like meeting people that are ALWAYS late. I had a book coaching client that was late for every session. Not five or ten minutes, but often a half hour late. After putting up with it one too many times, I finally fired her. The disrespect I felt wasn't worth the money she was paying me.
Love your mom’s quote. Makes for a good work ethic.
Odd coaching client. Maybe they needed a different kind of coaching. 😉