44 Comments
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Ofifoto1's avatar

Lots of goodies here, but "Coffee cosplay" is my favourite, especially at night when I want the taste of coffee but not caffeine!

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Peet's Coffee makes some decent decaf versions. Big Bang is my favorite.

Chris Stanton's avatar

I thought your comment was going to be about the other kind of banana hammocks…

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Haha. I never heard about those.

C.L. Steiner's avatar

God had nothing to do with the warnings on plastic bags. That was the legal department, protecting the Maker from the same people who need the “Contents: HOT” on cardboard coffee cups.

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

There are some who would say every thought, idea… is G-d given. Even lawyers.

C.L. Steiner's avatar

Good point. I felt uncomfortable as soon as I wrote “God had nothing to do with…”

I do know better.

Leonora Ross's avatar

That egg cuber does look suspicious ...😄

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Someone thought of it and then it was manufactured.

Leonora Ross's avatar

Big eyebrow raise!

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Your list definitely contains some nasty creations, but technically, you can only blame God for summer humidity, cancer and alzheimer's and such, cockroaches, and puppies and kittens... and I'm pretty sure that puppies and kittens are a reward for us putting up with all the bad stuff. 🐶🐱 The rest of your list can be attributed to those of us who belong to the "Homo sapiens sapiens" species. God is just up there shaking His head while we merrily find ways to mess up paradise. Though my late fil actually LIKED fruit cake... we have some homemade fruitcake that my mil made back in 2018 stowed away in the back of the freezer... since she died in 2019, we've been unable to bring ourselves to dispose of it. God help our kids when my husband and I shuffle off this mortal coil...

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Old fruit cake! Oh my. Maybe when you’re ready to let go of her. 🙏🏻💐

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

It's not my call. My hubby can hang on to his mother's frozen fruitcake forever, if that's what he wishes. 💚

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

There’s a story in there, Jeannine. Some people freeze the top of the wedding cake…

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Hmmmm... maybe. I've had some strange experiences with freezers, including once storing a dead cat in one, though in my defense, there wasn't any food in there with the cat, plus she'd already died of natural causes - it had died during the winter and I had to wait until spring before I could bury it properly (I know, I know, normal people have them cremated at the vet's office). When my sister visited a few weeks later, I had to warn her away from opening the freezer because of the cat, but also a couple of chickens who'd died of old age were in there, too, also awaiting proper burial - she still thinks it's hilariously horrible. Yes, I think maybe you've given me another fantastic idea... Thank you! 🤔

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Chickens I can understand. We freeze chicken breasts why not the whole thing? A cat? 😳

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

There was a spare freezer at the farm, that I was already using for temporary storage of dead chickens (fully feathered - we weren't planning to eat them, they were dead pets). I was planning to bury them when the ground thawed, and so it happened when the time arrived. When I found that the barn cat had died, she went in there, too. Macabre, perhaps, but not too different from the freezers at morgues… Little Girl Cat had a nice funeral when spring returned. Yeah, I know. I'm a weirdo! 😅

Elaine Wolff's avatar

I have to stick up for Detroit (hmmm, is that a good phrase?), but the egg cuber is going to haunt me all week. WTAF.

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

I wrote Detroit based on reputation only. Unfair.

Jen St. Germain Unfiltered's avatar

I was going to say Detroit has come so far in the past decade. I live in Canada across from it. If it weren’t for the dumbass red devil who should have been number 1 on your list, I’d still cross the border to visit.

Ken Macko's avatar

Cockroaches - add “progressive left” and “RINOS”

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Far right and far left—or extremists. Sigh.

Ken Macko's avatar

Yes

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I cannot read the words “banana hammock” and not think of Sasha Baron Cohen. Be glad Substack doesn’t allow us to drop pics in here 🤣

John E Simpson's avatar

Decorative refrigerator magnets which are too weak to hold anything heavier than a square inch of tissue paper to the fridge. And I don't care how damned cute, clever, or pretty they are.

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

True! And some don’t stick to the fridge.

Teresa's avatar

In my world, great fries only need salt - nothing else. (I'm not even a ketchup fan for them). I laugh at "gluten free water" but "diet water" is definitely co-number one hilarious.

As for useless stuff, as I try to get mostly unused stuff into boxes early, I have 6 boxes of kitchen stuff that I almost never use... some things are useful on special occasions, but I wonder if I really need it at all. 🤣 The only thing I packed early that I am annoyed about is that apple slicer thing for coring and making sections when cutting apples for pie. I bought it because using a knife to do it is pathetically slow. I know what box it's in, but I'm not gonna get it out since I only do pies for special occasions. I'm hoping I'll have it back for the holiday season next year. 😁

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Yes! And china. Is yours collecting dust too?

Teresa's avatar

Actually I got rid of the china about 15 years ago. 🤣 Luckily it was not a precious family heirloom. My sister sent the set to me when she was living in Okinawa (military husband at the time). She had a vacation in S. Korea when she found it. It cost her a whole $30 but would have been super expensive if bought here.

I felt bad because I never ever used it. Also it took up an entire cabinet to store in our previous house. When we moved here it lived in the moving box in our basement. Then I heard about a local church rummage sale. I took the box there and let them sell it or do with it what they would.

EKB ✡️ 🕎 🇺🇸's avatar

I love the "diet water"....that got a LOL...

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Someone else mentioned gluten free water. Haha.

Larry Urish's avatar

Great list!

How about: folks with the IQ of spinach who manage to get a drivers licens … and vote … and reproduce.

BTW, about the gaps in airport bathroom stalls: I KNEW you looked familiar.

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Haha! What were you doing in the ladies bathroom?

Larry Urish's avatar

That’s between me and my parole officer…

Wendy Parciak's avatar

haha, I can relate to so many things on your list. Esp all things plastic!

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Right? Some states have banned plastic bags but all our food is packed in plastic. Hmmmm.

Wendy Parciak's avatar

Crazy. And I hate how organic produce in MA is often the worst of all. I have to choose between buying plastic around my food or buying chemicals in my food. In MT, we had a great organic bulk store where you could put everything in your own re-usable containers, all organic. Why not here???

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Luckily it’s Farmers Market time. Any good ones by you? There’s a CSA here that offers 16 weeks of veggies for free if you work on their farm 4 hours per week. I’m tempted. Otherwise it’s pricey.

Wendy Parciak's avatar

Good point! I need to remember to get to the Farmer's Market here. It's only open on Thursdays, though.

David Perlmutter's avatar

Poutine is Canada's fault. As a Canadian, I apologize...

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

I didn't want to insult my Canadian friends, just the Poutine.