Love this!! I always wanted to be buried at my family cemetery. It's the most idyllic, peaceful place in the world. Grew up spending lots of quality time out there (doubles as an off the grid family picnic/lake day rendezvous point) My grandma, uncles and grandfather were buried there...until recently. Families get weird sometimes in grief. Everyone was exumed and reburied in a horrible cemetery by the highway after a property inheritance dispute. Strangest decision ever, but what are you gonna do? Like I said...people get weird when it comes to grief and money.
Second...I want to spend eternity in the good place of course. Wherever that is. Since I have no idyllic, lakeside resting place awaiting me, I think I'll stick around for awhile first. I want to check in on (haunt?) everyone I knew, even acquaintances, and see what they're up to. I want to know everyone's secrets. It sounds like fun. Is everyone nosy? Or do most go straight to the light? Feels like a wasted opportunity. Eternity is long enough to spare a little spying on your loved ones.
OMG! The family plot-- yes, pun intended. That would be an interesting essay for you. What the heck happened? Ancestors exhumed? Oy. Sticking around would be fun at first-- then it might get boring. I wonder if after a few centuries heavenly bliss gets boring. There's only so many choral classics a soul can sing. Does flying with angels get old? My mom had a funny line when I told her I might want to be buried in Great Barrington, MA. "You want a destination funeral?"
The family plot!! I love that!! I think everyone panicked when our matriarch died and the property changed hands. They decided that they should move the bodies in case someone ten generations down the line wouldn't remember who was there?!? it still makes no sense to me.
A destination funeral feels like the last gift to your family. "Here..go to Thailand!" or wherever.
Bows and arrows, fire, the sun setting - brilliant!
Failing that - cremation, don't care what I wear as I won't be viewed, cardboard casket, ashes scattered at sea from our boat at my favourite very isolated beach.
Private funeral, immediate family only, no wake or memorial of any sort.
I was a funeral director's grandaughter. I watched all sorts - big with wailing families and friends, huge expense, and small and intimate with peace and calm. No prizes for guessing what I erred toward.
I really approve of the light way you tackled Death - it's a great attitude and removes the mystery and fear. Well done!
Thx! I vaguely remember that movie. Valhalla sounds appealing. The g-daughter of a funeral director— you must have some good stories. Was Six Feet Under accurate?
I loved reading this and hearing the story again (Julie told it to me awhile ago and I knew it would be perfect for Aging Gratefully). I loved your funny snippets and how you took a painful subject, one that a person really doesn't want to think about, and made it a natural part of aging. Hubby and I still need to get to the cemetery to check out availability before July 1st when the prices go up. Thanks sis!
Turn me to ash and toss me out from a Folgers can, a la The Big Lewbowski (though, I think my friends would check wind direction first). Great post, CK. xo
Haha. Yes. Wind is important. Although, I don’t think people know that it’s not just ash in that can. Bone doesn’t burn. We learned this about 30 years ago when we spread hubby’s sister’s ashes.
It's chunky stuff! As a girl, I was fascinated by spontaneous human combustion, and when I got my first hot flash, I believed that's what was happening. Why isn't that and the Bermuda Triangle discussed anymore? (I miss In Search Of...) I used to want to be buried. Now, I don't care. Whatever's cheapest/easiest. xo
ok interesting synchronicity (story of ALL our lives?) just went to dermatoligist to have thism yearly quick cut of a bump above eye from where i fell off a roof few years ago, not the worst of the damage as i woke up in mid air enroute PCB with chopper blades whirring overhead, another story...and right before in waiting room ran into a unique white bearded local who i had always admired for among other things sawing up lumber from local wood using an old vw motor (he is very clever and imaginative if somehwhat esoteric) and he has a nature preserve with a cool bamboo forest his grand father maybe started after WW2 but also as part of his various inventions has the capability (and state license apparently) of freezing your body while he prepares simple plot to bury you in at VERY LOW COST and marked by a modest stone and he is required by state to have a map....so theres an idea if anyone wants to be be interred no nonsense in North Florida and i will not go into the shockingly funny and above board banter with (ugh) married and 40 and id guessed 29 nurse practitioner id never seen prior and in p resenceof 2 assistants had the boldness to reaffirm what i had iin other words confirmed in her : "charismatic and sexy"
id be happy to be buried now after that but its only noon so.....i'll take door #3
I want to know what white bearded local was doing in the ER. Sounds like a very inventive dude. And I must know what’s behind door #3. Coffee before thoughts of burial?
ohhh as for coffee while doin a basic stand up rifling my old wallet for blue cross med card for receptionist found a starbucks gift plastic and he didnt want it as he was behind me but her hand came out so quick to grab it like a seagull on tossed bread on waterfront...make your fuckin head spin heeee
and that practitioner asked me later what made me so animated so early and i said
Apr 26, 2023·edited Apr 26, 2023Liked by Good Humor by CK Steefel
Death- right up my alley! John Denver had something to say about burial plots, especially Forest Lawn; y'all love it, I promise: https://youtu.be/5S8Q2M4CBVU
The idea of being buried never appealed to me- probably starting from the first time I saw "Poltergeist". Not about the ghosts, but the flood in the backyard and what it did to the Indians buried there. My wife does not want a fixed location where all the children will feel OBLIGATED to travel to to visit, as she has had to do with her mother's plot. I thought that was very conscientious of her. My parents were the first of our family's generation to be cremated, so that's the way I'll go. I'm kinda obsessed with this topic- in a fearful way- so it took a lot to even comment. I haven't truly decided what to believe in. I am a Christian, and believe in all that entails there, but I'm adapting a few books from those who have far more "supernatural" experiences, much of which involves an Afterlife that is "not" as the Church teaches, but more like the movie "Contact" (energy never dying; coming back in another form, etc. ). Having witnessed the dying process with many people in my life- and in many cases, the last face they saw before dying (as if dying wasn't enough), I'm still on the fence about what comes next- but I guarantee we'll all find out. That thought ALONE is unbelievable; every person who ever lived, or will live, will die. I can't get my head around that.
Being born is a fatal act. Ultimately. Or alternately, being alive is a fatal condition. Just hafta be conscious and conscientious about living, really living, in between. The elusive concept of the dash, the punctuation between DOB and DOD. Short and slim that punctuation. Let it belie thy life, eh? Oh, and for the trip? A sense of humor is optional but highly recommended. ;)
Thx for sharing. There are thousands of NDE stories and hundreds of books about people experiencing the afterlife in their Near Death Experience. I had a few experiences of my own. Not NDE but a powerful love energy. No cremation for me. It’s a Jewish thing especially since the Holocaust.
Makes sense on the cremation thing but I never knew that concept. I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I just bought my Neptune cremation contract. Has a lifetime guarantee your rates won't go up. And interest free financing ! On a more serious note my Mom and Dad bought cremation contracts before their deaths and it did make decisions so much easier on us kids. Really great Article CK.
As for the song, "An Evening with John Denver" (2-album live, recorded in L.A. in the 70's) is my desert island album, and one of my favorite albums of all time. I listen to it when I work outside. He does a great version of it there. He didn't do many "funny" songs, as you can imagine. I also knew his wife when he died, and I've been a big fan since I was a teen.
Geno I listed to that song- really clever lyrics! Since you are a Denver fan I have to share this trivia. When Denver toured China in 1992 he was astonished that they all knew his music. Turns out when Richard Nixon visited China in the 70s He gave them some gifts of which one was a John Denver album. Even though it was sung in English, over the next decade they pirated it and distributed it all over China and they all knew his music. 😀
I knew of the trip, of course, and the album, but I didn't know they pirated it. They really ARE an evil empire! Lol! In '82, he wrote "Shanghai Breezes" for Annie, as they were going down the road to divorce. He wanted to tell her how warm the breeze was off the water, and how they could look up and see the same moon. He had a great soul, and one of the best singing voices in the history or music; often overlooked. Thank you for sharing that story.
Talking his death, everything changed for me when I read his "autopsy". If you ever have the stomach for it. At least, it was quick. I can only assume John-John (Kennedy) looked the same when they found him, which is why they immediately buried him at sea. I'm not even sure JFK Jr. was ever brought back to land. I don't remember.
Nah. Don’t need to see the autopsy report. My dad was a pathologist. Body parts was dinner time conversation but I don’t think I inherited his indifference.
Our family is lucky, we live in rural NH. We've already arranged with the town to set up a family plot on my in-laws's farm. It's a beautiful place in the corner of a pasture, overlooking the woods.... and it will be free! Now my hubby is trying to get it all set up so it's perfect, (so maybe not so free 😂). I'm leaning towards a green burial (also legal up here). Other family members are leaning towards cremation, a couple others want caskets - I'm hoping I'll get to feed a nice old oak tree someday. Plus, since it's ours, there's no question that our fur babies will be welcome, too.
What a wonderful eternal resting place. And anything goes when it’s a family property. I love NH. It’s on the list for potential future retirement places— maybe after retirement too. 😉
Love this!! I always wanted to be buried at my family cemetery. It's the most idyllic, peaceful place in the world. Grew up spending lots of quality time out there (doubles as an off the grid family picnic/lake day rendezvous point) My grandma, uncles and grandfather were buried there...until recently. Families get weird sometimes in grief. Everyone was exumed and reburied in a horrible cemetery by the highway after a property inheritance dispute. Strangest decision ever, but what are you gonna do? Like I said...people get weird when it comes to grief and money.
Second...I want to spend eternity in the good place of course. Wherever that is. Since I have no idyllic, lakeside resting place awaiting me, I think I'll stick around for awhile first. I want to check in on (haunt?) everyone I knew, even acquaintances, and see what they're up to. I want to know everyone's secrets. It sounds like fun. Is everyone nosy? Or do most go straight to the light? Feels like a wasted opportunity. Eternity is long enough to spare a little spying on your loved ones.
OMG! The family plot-- yes, pun intended. That would be an interesting essay for you. What the heck happened? Ancestors exhumed? Oy. Sticking around would be fun at first-- then it might get boring. I wonder if after a few centuries heavenly bliss gets boring. There's only so many choral classics a soul can sing. Does flying with angels get old? My mom had a funny line when I told her I might want to be buried in Great Barrington, MA. "You want a destination funeral?"
The family plot!! I love that!! I think everyone panicked when our matriarch died and the property changed hands. They decided that they should move the bodies in case someone ten generations down the line wouldn't remember who was there?!? it still makes no sense to me.
A destination funeral feels like the last gift to your family. "Here..go to Thailand!" or wherever.
The thing on IG that has been sold out for months!
Me: burned to a crisp.
PJs obviously, good for day and night...and resting.
What’s the thing on IG?
Funny!
Burned. My preference would be a viking funeral as per Rocket Gibraltar (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096003/)
Bows and arrows, fire, the sun setting - brilliant!
Failing that - cremation, don't care what I wear as I won't be viewed, cardboard casket, ashes scattered at sea from our boat at my favourite very isolated beach.
Private funeral, immediate family only, no wake or memorial of any sort.
I was a funeral director's grandaughter. I watched all sorts - big with wailing families and friends, huge expense, and small and intimate with peace and calm. No prizes for guessing what I erred toward.
I really approve of the light way you tackled Death - it's a great attitude and removes the mystery and fear. Well done!
Thx! I vaguely remember that movie. Valhalla sounds appealing. The g-daughter of a funeral director— you must have some good stories. Was Six Feet Under accurate?
Let's just say that all stories are confidential. Some are hilarious. Nearly all are tragic and in the end, no matter what, Death is the equaliser.
Best show I ever watched on death was a New Zealand documentary series on a funeral directing company - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Casketeers
Pathos, humour, empathy - wonderful!
Watch it if you can. It was never ever depressing.
Love the title. Thx for recommend.
I loved reading this and hearing the story again (Julie told it to me awhile ago and I knew it would be perfect for Aging Gratefully). I loved your funny snippets and how you took a painful subject, one that a person really doesn't want to think about, and made it a natural part of aging. Hubby and I still need to get to the cemetery to check out availability before July 1st when the prices go up. Thanks sis!
Thx for thinking of me and for introducing me to Julie. And thx again to Julie for the story. ❤️🙏
Make an appointment, sis.
shit ive had myriad smaller mishaps since
no worrys thanks
Turn me to ash and toss me out from a Folgers can, a la The Big Lewbowski (though, I think my friends would check wind direction first). Great post, CK. xo
Haha. Yes. Wind is important. Although, I don’t think people know that it’s not just ash in that can. Bone doesn’t burn. We learned this about 30 years ago when we spread hubby’s sister’s ashes.
They do sift the ashes and remove any foreign objects and 'difficult' pieces.
It's chunky stuff! As a girl, I was fascinated by spontaneous human combustion, and when I got my first hot flash, I believed that's what was happening. Why isn't that and the Bermuda Triangle discussed anymore? (I miss In Search Of...) I used to want to be buried. Now, I don't care. Whatever's cheapest/easiest. xo
Seems like certain discussions are cyclical. Aliens are back in vogue.
I'm really jonesing for a good Bermuda Triangle mystery...and there's a few folks I wouldn't mind seeing combust! xo
not the ER
as for door #3
i wont bore you or your audience....maybe if you were a therapist tho....
ok interesting synchronicity (story of ALL our lives?) just went to dermatoligist to have thism yearly quick cut of a bump above eye from where i fell off a roof few years ago, not the worst of the damage as i woke up in mid air enroute PCB with chopper blades whirring overhead, another story...and right before in waiting room ran into a unique white bearded local who i had always admired for among other things sawing up lumber from local wood using an old vw motor (he is very clever and imaginative if somehwhat esoteric) and he has a nature preserve with a cool bamboo forest his grand father maybe started after WW2 but also as part of his various inventions has the capability (and state license apparently) of freezing your body while he prepares simple plot to bury you in at VERY LOW COST and marked by a modest stone and he is required by state to have a map....so theres an idea if anyone wants to be be interred no nonsense in North Florida and i will not go into the shockingly funny and above board banter with (ugh) married and 40 and id guessed 29 nurse practitioner id never seen prior and in p resenceof 2 assistants had the boldness to reaffirm what i had iin other words confirmed in her : "charismatic and sexy"
id be happy to be buried now after that but its only noon so.....i'll take door #3
Hope you’re healing. 🙏
I want to know what white bearded local was doing in the ER. Sounds like a very inventive dude. And I must know what’s behind door #3. Coffee before thoughts of burial?
ohhh as for coffee while doin a basic stand up rifling my old wallet for blue cross med card for receptionist found a starbucks gift plastic and he didnt want it as he was behind me but her hand came out so quick to grab it like a seagull on tossed bread on waterfront...make your fuckin head spin heeee
and that practitioner asked me later what made me so animated so early and i said
uhhh not coffee
Death- right up my alley! John Denver had something to say about burial plots, especially Forest Lawn; y'all love it, I promise: https://youtu.be/5S8Q2M4CBVU
The idea of being buried never appealed to me- probably starting from the first time I saw "Poltergeist". Not about the ghosts, but the flood in the backyard and what it did to the Indians buried there. My wife does not want a fixed location where all the children will feel OBLIGATED to travel to to visit, as she has had to do with her mother's plot. I thought that was very conscientious of her. My parents were the first of our family's generation to be cremated, so that's the way I'll go. I'm kinda obsessed with this topic- in a fearful way- so it took a lot to even comment. I haven't truly decided what to believe in. I am a Christian, and believe in all that entails there, but I'm adapting a few books from those who have far more "supernatural" experiences, much of which involves an Afterlife that is "not" as the Church teaches, but more like the movie "Contact" (energy never dying; coming back in another form, etc. ). Having witnessed the dying process with many people in my life- and in many cases, the last face they saw before dying (as if dying wasn't enough), I'm still on the fence about what comes next- but I guarantee we'll all find out. That thought ALONE is unbelievable; every person who ever lived, or will live, will die. I can't get my head around that.
Being born is a fatal act. Ultimately. Or alternately, being alive is a fatal condition. Just hafta be conscious and conscientious about living, really living, in between. The elusive concept of the dash, the punctuation between DOB and DOD. Short and slim that punctuation. Let it belie thy life, eh? Oh, and for the trip? A sense of humor is optional but highly recommended. ;)
Love this description.
How did you remember that Denver song? Thx for posting. He was so talented.
Thx for sharing. There are thousands of NDE stories and hundreds of books about people experiencing the afterlife in their Near Death Experience. I had a few experiences of my own. Not NDE but a powerful love energy. No cremation for me. It’s a Jewish thing especially since the Holocaust.
Makes sense on the cremation thing but I never knew that concept. I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I just bought my Neptune cremation contract. Has a lifetime guarantee your rates won't go up. And interest free financing ! On a more serious note my Mom and Dad bought cremation contracts before their deaths and it did make decisions so much easier on us kids. Really great Article CK.
As for the song, "An Evening with John Denver" (2-album live, recorded in L.A. in the 70's) is my desert island album, and one of my favorite albums of all time. I listen to it when I work outside. He does a great version of it there. He didn't do many "funny" songs, as you can imagine. I also knew his wife when he died, and I've been a big fan since I was a teen.
Geno I listed to that song- really clever lyrics! Since you are a Denver fan I have to share this trivia. When Denver toured China in 1992 he was astonished that they all knew his music. Turns out when Richard Nixon visited China in the 70s He gave them some gifts of which one was a John Denver album. Even though it was sung in English, over the next decade they pirated it and distributed it all over China and they all knew his music. 😀
I knew of the trip, of course, and the album, but I didn't know they pirated it. They really ARE an evil empire! Lol! In '82, he wrote "Shanghai Breezes" for Annie, as they were going down the road to divorce. He wanted to tell her how warm the breeze was off the water, and how they could look up and see the same moon. He had a great soul, and one of the best singing voices in the history or music; often overlooked. Thank you for sharing that story.
He was underrated. Great performance in Oh God. Died too young.
Talking his death, everything changed for me when I read his "autopsy". If you ever have the stomach for it. At least, it was quick. I can only assume John-John (Kennedy) looked the same when they found him, which is why they immediately buried him at sea. I'm not even sure JFK Jr. was ever brought back to land. I don't remember.
Nah. Don’t need to see the autopsy report. My dad was a pathologist. Body parts was dinner time conversation but I don’t think I inherited his indifference.
I understand (about cremation), but is that true- the reason, I mean, for Judasim as a whole, or just some? I actually never knew that.
True for Orthodox and conservatives. Reform is a free for all.
Our family is lucky, we live in rural NH. We've already arranged with the town to set up a family plot on my in-laws's farm. It's a beautiful place in the corner of a pasture, overlooking the woods.... and it will be free! Now my hubby is trying to get it all set up so it's perfect, (so maybe not so free 😂). I'm leaning towards a green burial (also legal up here). Other family members are leaning towards cremation, a couple others want caskets - I'm hoping I'll get to feed a nice old oak tree someday. Plus, since it's ours, there's no question that our fur babies will be welcome, too.
What a wonderful eternal resting place. And anything goes when it’s a family property. I love NH. It’s on the list for potential future retirement places— maybe after retirement too. 😉
The state moto isn't "Live free or die" for nothing. 😉
Paradise Alley! An app for the cemetery!
Not that often one has the opportunity to laugh uproariously aloud to start their day.
Day made☑️
Brilliant interview, we need more of those.
A great read, full of laughs. My in-laws recently took on the task of choosing their plots. Lucky them-- it was a two-for-one sale that month.
Two for one— that’s awesome!
Thank you for sharing this.....my morning laugh! 😂