My Dog's Guest Post

He's written some "biting" poetry. (Free pun included)

Hello, I’m Apollo and I’m guest posting for my human ma, CK Steefel.

This first poem is called, The Unbearable Lightness of Running in the Rain.

(I wrote this poem after my ma captured this video of me (below). The rain was falling in waves of silk, the sun hadn’t yet shown its face and probably wouldn’t for the rest of the day. Maybe the sun was tired and needed a break from being the pillar of good cheer. I relate to the sun. I get tired too. I’m like a sun in my family. I make my parents smile and laugh as though I’m a great yellow ball in the sky. But it was gray outside. Patches of lawn were puddled and when I stared at my ma and wagged my stubby tail, she read my mind and said, “Sorry pup, not today.”)

The Unbearable Lightness of Running in the Rain

—by Apollo

Mud.

(I know that one-word poems aren’t common and maybe not publish-worthy, but this was heartfelt.)

Okay, okay. Here is a real poem inspired by the above video.

A Treadmill By Any Other Name

—A Haiku by Apollo

Raining cats and dogs

My mom didn’t want the muck

But I’m not raining

****** (I used an asterisk here to indicate a new thought.)

(My next poem reflects my joy. It wasn’t raining so I was able to run around the yard and as my ma says, “Get into mischief.” That meant I got these sticky round seeds stuck in my fur. One time it was so bad it took my ma an hour to pluck them off. I was a good boy and sat patiently the entire time.)

Velcro

—A quatrain by Apollo

I ran around the yard

Nature made the call

Now I must be the bard

I’m full of spiky balls

I have recommendations:

While perusing the Stack I found a real dog vet. Dr. Tori at

Balanced Pet Vet

has some good advice. Tell your human family.

I also enjoyed this guest post by

David Perlmutter

‘s friend, Cerberus. I like that the owner of this Substack has the word “mut” in his name.

National Puppy Day 2024

When my ma wasn’t looking, I snuck onto Notes and found some nice humans. This lady, Emily Nunn from

The Department of Salad

wants to have a newsletter with her dog. Other nice humans agree.

Alex Dobrenko`

and

Terrell Johnson

They must have fur kids too.

And this nice human,

Claire Venus

wants a puppy. I want one too. Or a grown dog. I’m not picky. A companion would be nice. I was surprised to see that my ma responded and lo and behold, she does too.

********

Thank you for allowing me to guest post today. It was nice.

1.     Do you have a pet story?

2.     What are those sticky Velcro seeds called?

3.     I like the treadmill but don’t ya hate it when it’s too muddy to play outside? Instead of running like the wind, I’d run like a Heron in an oil spill.