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Is $600 Enough?
When you're stuck at the airport
I feel for Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell. (Hollywood celebs in case you don’t watch movies or television.) The Shepard-Bells are parents with little ones who were trying to make the best of a bad situation. Their flight was delayed several hours, then pushed to the next day. So, the couple purchased enough blankets and neck pillows to set up a mini hotel room in the airline waiting area of Logan Airport. Allegedly, there was not one Boston hotel room available.
I have questions:
1. Did they really call every single Boston hotel?
2. Why didn’t they hang out at one of the airline lounges? I thought celebrities flew first class or by private jet. Okay, maybe they enjoy the community of coach.
3. Did they really have to spend $600 on airport blankets and neck pillows? (Aren’t the lounges less than $600 per year? Maybe Kristen and Dax are really big on blankets which lounges don’t provide.)
Every Hotel Phone Call:
Dax-- Hello, this is the 638th hotel I’ve called. Please tell me you have a room available.
Reservations—Ugh. Is this Dax Shepard? Yeah, the other hotels warned us you might call. Boston is completely booked up. Even the thousands of Airbnb’s are rented.
Dax—What’s going on?
Reservations—Leonardo DiCaprio Film Festival.
Dax—Ugh! Friggin A-lister.
Fancy Schmancy Lounge:
Dax trying to sneak his family into the American Express Centurion lounge.
Concierge- I’m sorry but you cancelled your platinum card.
Dax—Do you know who I am?
Concierge—A tattoo artist?
Dax—My wife and I are B list celebrities. Well, Kristen is A-.
Concierge—Have I seen you in anything?
Dax—(mumbles) My wife works more. Veronica Mars?
Concierge—Who, pray tell, is Veronica Mars?
Dax—That’s the name of the show. My wife is Kristen Bell— doesn’t ring a bell?
Dax—You might recognize her.
Concierge—Where is she?
Dax—With the kids.
Concierge—Kids? Oh no, you can’t come in here. Security!
I have a neck pillow collection. Why? Because every time I fly somewhere I forget my neck pillow and purchase yet another one. No matter, the older ones don’t snap closed. I should give those to Good Will although I imagine a plethora of airport neck pillows lining the shelves of the Good Will stores across the country. There’s probably a landfill of neck pillows. Do they disintegrate? Are they biodegradable? Are there videos of Herons being rescued by viral-seeking fishermen because a neck pillow is choking it?
Dax and Kristen could have taken my neck pillows. They also could have called my daughter who lives in Boston. She’s a fan, a normal person, and would have happily housed the semi-famous family. One of my kids’ favorite movies growing up was Employee of the Month. (Starring Dax Shepard.) We still bring up scenes from that movie and chuckle. Good times.
If the Shepard/Bell Family Stayed With My Daughter:
My daughter to Dax—Remember in Employee of the Month when you spun around in the office chair? That was funny.
Dax-- Yeah, I improvised that bit of comedy.
My daughter-- You were really funny.
Dax—Thanks. It’s 4am. You think you can untie my family now so we can go to sleep?
1. Have you ever been stuck at the airport? What did you do?
2. Are you a fan of Dax and Kristen?
3. Have you ever met a celebrity? Who? What happened? Dish.