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The Braver Mom's avatar

“I was getting annoyed, yet I didn’t want to harm my relationship with my kids. I wanted to respect their wishes and didn’t want a hug to be a hindrance or a wedge between us. They were learning how to be independent, to be adults, yet they weren’t mature enough for any big decisions”

Exactly how I feel!

I’m so glad they came around eventually. Still waiting for that day to come for me. But there is hope. 🙂

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I love the hugging lesson! I wish I would’ve thought of it. The hugs are longer now but still never enough.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Thx, Donna. 🙏

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Ofifoto's avatar

We were all big Cash Cab fans. Lovely stories. The love and respect you all have for each other oozes (swoops?) through your words.

Hugs are wonderful. My husband is a great one for cuddles, as is my youngest son. My eldest manages the ebb and flow, but he lets me linger on special occasions.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Well done mama. Hugging boys! Thx, O. 🥰

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Kimberly Warner's avatar

So precious. I love the way you enter us into these scenes, I feel like I’m standing right there feeling all the feels, the friendship, the evolution of your bond. I came from a hugging family, and a dad who was known (even mentioned at his memorial) as the guy whose hugs were 5 seconds too long. He held on and then some and I was terribly embarrassed by it as a teen. Of course, I’d give anything for one of those hugs now. Let’s go for 50 seconds too long!

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

What a great memory of your dad. Lingering is essential. Thx, Kimberly. 🥰🙏

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Lindsey Smith | Not Normal's avatar

Oh gosh I’m so terrified of this! Mine area full in the super cuddly stage and since the older once is 8 I know the time is limited. I’m still in denial that it will happen to us but I know it’s inevitable. I love this piece though- a reminder of how it’s all a natural part of the process.

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Amanda Jaffe's avatar

Like they say, it's always 9 o'clock on a Saturday somewhere....I'm a big hugger and so, thankfully, are my boys (including the 60-year-old one).

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

A 20 second hug releases endorphins.

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Andrew Beebe's avatar

Don't.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Haha. Beware the teen!

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Andrew Beebe's avatar

We're only halfway there with our oldest but it's posts like this that have me nervous

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Oh no. Didn’t mean to scare anyone. Just know they come back!!

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Andrew Beebe's avatar

I'm not actually. Every stage has its plusses and minuses. In the teenage years they may have bigger emotions and more consequences for their mistakes, but they're also out of the house and independent, which means more writing time. ,😜

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

Oh, I loved this! I don't even have kids and I got this. "The teenage years were not just steppingstones but parkour courses across building roof tops." - Brilliant!

I came from a family who did NOT hug (I never heard my mom or dad say, "I love you" until I started saying it to them when I was in my 30s), and hugs felt weird and wrong to me. I certainly never hugged them as a teenager. My husband (most definitely a hugger) likes to come at me for hugs, and at first I just stood there and let him hug, but I've become reciprocal in the past 30 years and give good hugs.

I always ask, "Hug?" Some people like to, some don't.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Very similar story here. Parents who didn’t hug but hubby needs one every morning. 🥰

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michael mclaughlin's avatar

Teenagers are aliens. How? Through Tic Toc. Unseen forces have interjected dissonant mind scrambles so the teen age mind, already saturated with hormones, goes crazy with wild ideas. Sadly some teenagers do not recover from this. They grow up to be insurance salespeople. (I wrote salesman but the PC AI changed it to salespeople. That, too, comes from aliens in outer space.)

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Abby Davisson's avatar

I loved this so much! Mine are currently 10 and 12 and I have a hugger and a leaner (one who only leans in for hugs and doesn't reciprocate). It will be interesting to see if they remain this way as they age...

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

OMG now I’m crying in an airport CK, thanks 🤣.

Thanks for giving me hope that my teenager will someday give me a real hug again. But I can’t look forward to it because I’m supposed to appreciate the now.

Arg, life!!!

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Zach Hively's avatar

My parents tried skipping pages to finish books faster once we hit the encore stage of nightly reading. But my memory was too good. I’d bust them.

I’m a hugger but I try to let the other person dictate how long we hug (if they’re quicker than me). My data is skewed, though. Most of my friends are tango dancers, which means we’re used to ten minute hugs, one after the other.

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ha. Our daughter would totally bust us also.

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Wendy Parciak's avatar

I'm so glad your kids returned to real hugs! Guess I'm lucky - my son never discarded them during the alien phase.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

I'm grateful my teenagers still hug me for longer than "ahn"! ☺️

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Terry Freedman's avatar

haha! Brilliant. I'd have loved to have met them. I used to teach teenagers and some of the interactions we had still make me laugh!

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Write that book!

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Terry Freedman's avatar

LOL. What, teaching anecdotes? I’ve often thought of it, but who would be interested?

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

It would be hilarious, heartwarming and educational.

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Terry Freedman's avatar

LOL. Possibly!

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Start with a few stories on your stack. 🙏

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Hmm. OK. Thanks!

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Amy Ebel's avatar

My grandson refuses to be touched. Its sad but i get it.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

He’ll be back!!

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