We’re in the stage where the kids fight over mommy’s lap. It can get annoying. This is a good reminder that there will come a time when we’ll wish they would want to be close.
A wonderful read. I don’t have kids (yet), and being conditioned by the silly ideas of ‘boys don’t cry/hug/or show any emotions’ there was a while there where I didn’t get any hugs from anyone but my mum. But nowadays, I’m breaking that silly conditioning, as are some of my makes friends, and so, thankfully, there are many more hugs going around :)
“I was getting annoyed, yet I didn’t want to harm my relationship with my kids. I wanted to respect their wishes and didn’t want a hug to be a hindrance or a wedge between us. They were learning how to be independent, to be adults, yet they weren’t mature enough for any big decisions”
Exactly how I feel!
I’m so glad they came around eventually. Still waiting for that day to come for me. But there is hope. 🙂
We were all big Cash Cab fans. Lovely stories. The love and respect you all have for each other oozes (swoops?) through your words.
Hugs are wonderful. My husband is a great one for cuddles, as is my youngest son. My eldest manages the ebb and flow, but he lets me linger on special occasions.
So precious. I love the way you enter us into these scenes, I feel like I’m standing right there feeling all the feels, the friendship, the evolution of your bond. I came from a hugging family, and a dad who was known (even mentioned at his memorial) as the guy whose hugs were 5 seconds too long. He held on and then some and I was terribly embarrassed by it as a teen. Of course, I’d give anything for one of those hugs now. Let’s go for 50 seconds too long!
Oh gosh I’m so terrified of this! Mine area full in the super cuddly stage and since the older once is 8 I know the time is limited. I’m still in denial that it will happen to us but I know it’s inevitable. I love this piece though- a reminder of how it’s all a natural part of the process.
I'm not actually. Every stage has its plusses and minuses. In the teenage years they may have bigger emotions and more consequences for their mistakes, but they're also out of the house and independent, which means more writing time. ,😜
Oh, I loved this! I don't even have kids and I got this. "The teenage years were not just steppingstones but parkour courses across building roof tops." - Brilliant!
I came from a family who did NOT hug (I never heard my mom or dad say, "I love you" until I started saying it to them when I was in my 30s), and hugs felt weird and wrong to me. I certainly never hugged them as a teenager. My husband (most definitely a hugger) likes to come at me for hugs, and at first I just stood there and let him hug, but I've become reciprocal in the past 30 years and give good hugs.
I always ask, "Hug?" Some people like to, some don't.
Teenagers are aliens. How? Through Tic Toc. Unseen forces have interjected dissonant mind scrambles so the teen age mind, already saturated with hormones, goes crazy with wild ideas. Sadly some teenagers do not recover from this. They grow up to be insurance salespeople. (I wrote salesman but the PC AI changed it to salespeople. That, too, comes from aliens in outer space.)
I loved this so much! Mine are currently 10 and 12 and I have a hugger and a leaner (one who only leans in for hugs and doesn't reciprocate). It will be interesting to see if they remain this way as they age...
Thanks for giving me hope that my teenager will someday give me a real hug again. But I can’t look forward to it because I’m supposed to appreciate the now.
My parents tried skipping pages to finish books faster once we hit the encore stage of nightly reading. But my memory was too good. I’d bust them.
I’m a hugger but I try to let the other person dictate how long we hug (if they’re quicker than me). My data is skewed, though. Most of my friends are tango dancers, which means we’re used to ten minute hugs, one after the other.
Big Hugger over here and I hold my giant teenagers with all the strength I have...they won't get a think out of me with out at least a 5 SECOND hug! https://mamdiaries.substack.com/p/help-i-live-with-a-family-of-huggtopuses
Hugs! It’s a great topic. You know a person’s character by their hug.
We’re in the stage where the kids fight over mommy’s lap. It can get annoying. This is a good reminder that there will come a time when we’ll wish they would want to be close.
Indeed.
A wonderful read. I don’t have kids (yet), and being conditioned by the silly ideas of ‘boys don’t cry/hug/or show any emotions’ there was a while there where I didn’t get any hugs from anyone but my mum. But nowadays, I’m breaking that silly conditioning, as are some of my makes friends, and so, thankfully, there are many more hugs going around :)
Real guys hug. That should be a bumper sticker.
Haha definitely! :)
“I was getting annoyed, yet I didn’t want to harm my relationship with my kids. I wanted to respect their wishes and didn’t want a hug to be a hindrance or a wedge between us. They were learning how to be independent, to be adults, yet they weren’t mature enough for any big decisions”
Exactly how I feel!
I’m so glad they came around eventually. Still waiting for that day to come for me. But there is hope. 🙂
I love the hugging lesson! I wish I would’ve thought of it. The hugs are longer now but still never enough.
Thx, Donna. 🙏
We were all big Cash Cab fans. Lovely stories. The love and respect you all have for each other oozes (swoops?) through your words.
Hugs are wonderful. My husband is a great one for cuddles, as is my youngest son. My eldest manages the ebb and flow, but he lets me linger on special occasions.
Well done mama. Hugging boys! Thx, O. 🥰
So precious. I love the way you enter us into these scenes, I feel like I’m standing right there feeling all the feels, the friendship, the evolution of your bond. I came from a hugging family, and a dad who was known (even mentioned at his memorial) as the guy whose hugs were 5 seconds too long. He held on and then some and I was terribly embarrassed by it as a teen. Of course, I’d give anything for one of those hugs now. Let’s go for 50 seconds too long!
What a great memory of your dad. Lingering is essential. Thx, Kimberly. 🥰🙏
Oh gosh I’m so terrified of this! Mine area full in the super cuddly stage and since the older once is 8 I know the time is limited. I’m still in denial that it will happen to us but I know it’s inevitable. I love this piece though- a reminder of how it’s all a natural part of the process.
Like they say, it's always 9 o'clock on a Saturday somewhere....I'm a big hugger and so, thankfully, are my boys (including the 60-year-old one).
A 20 second hug releases endorphins.
Don't.
Haha. Beware the teen!
We're only halfway there with our oldest but it's posts like this that have me nervous
Oh no. Didn’t mean to scare anyone. Just know they come back!!
I'm not actually. Every stage has its plusses and minuses. In the teenage years they may have bigger emotions and more consequences for their mistakes, but they're also out of the house and independent, which means more writing time. ,😜
Oh, I loved this! I don't even have kids and I got this. "The teenage years were not just steppingstones but parkour courses across building roof tops." - Brilliant!
I came from a family who did NOT hug (I never heard my mom or dad say, "I love you" until I started saying it to them when I was in my 30s), and hugs felt weird and wrong to me. I certainly never hugged them as a teenager. My husband (most definitely a hugger) likes to come at me for hugs, and at first I just stood there and let him hug, but I've become reciprocal in the past 30 years and give good hugs.
I always ask, "Hug?" Some people like to, some don't.
Very similar story here. Parents who didn’t hug but hubby needs one every morning. 🥰
Teenagers are aliens. How? Through Tic Toc. Unseen forces have interjected dissonant mind scrambles so the teen age mind, already saturated with hormones, goes crazy with wild ideas. Sadly some teenagers do not recover from this. They grow up to be insurance salespeople. (I wrote salesman but the PC AI changed it to salespeople. That, too, comes from aliens in outer space.)
I loved this so much! Mine are currently 10 and 12 and I have a hugger and a leaner (one who only leans in for hugs and doesn't reciprocate). It will be interesting to see if they remain this way as they age...
OMG now I’m crying in an airport CK, thanks 🤣.
Thanks for giving me hope that my teenager will someday give me a real hug again. But I can’t look forward to it because I’m supposed to appreciate the now.
Arg, life!!!
My parents tried skipping pages to finish books faster once we hit the encore stage of nightly reading. But my memory was too good. I’d bust them.
I’m a hugger but I try to let the other person dictate how long we hug (if they’re quicker than me). My data is skewed, though. Most of my friends are tango dancers, which means we’re used to ten minute hugs, one after the other.
Ha. Our daughter would totally bust us also.
I'm so glad your kids returned to real hugs! Guess I'm lucky - my son never discarded them during the alien phase.