Funny AF Woman #3
I met Pam in 1983 at an actor’s showcase. That’s where the broke actor pays $400 to perform in a scene in front of agents, casting directors and producers in the hopes of getting an acting job to pay off the $400 fee for the showcase. (In today’s dollars that fee would be $1200! Uh, showcase be dammed.)
Pam and I were paired up. All I remember about our scene was that it was set at a swimming pool and the character descriptions stated early 20’s and wore bikinis. Side note: Do I need to underscore the creepy fact that the showcase organizers chose a scene that required two young actresses to wear bikinis on stage (ew) and the fact that we didn’t question this (ugh)?
Where did we rehearse? At my mom’s condo building pool of course. This made us authentic method actors. Look out Sean Penn. Here comes Carissa and Pam doing their best Lee Strasberg Actor’s Studio performance *. We justified taking an afternoon off from temping at some law office and rehearsing at the pool so we could infuse a new “sense memory” (when the actor resurrects memories of her senses from personal experiences) of the persistently annoying LA sunshine, the concrete slabs around the pool and rows of Tropitone loungers.
The stage would be bare, just folding chairs put together, seat to seat, into makeshift recliners. We needed to know and feel to the core of our beings the sense memory of my mom’s Westwood pool. We would surely land an agent.
I don’t recall if anything came out of that showcase except a debit to my bank account but a terrific life-long friendship.
We both ended up in NYC and together wrote and performed a sketch comedy show called Blondes Prefer Gentlemen. (I was blonde back then.) Louis Black (yes, THE hilarious but F-bomb-heavy Louis Black) was the MC at the West Bank Café and introduced us.
Pam went on to perform and teach improv classes at Gotham City Improv. I took one of her classes. She was good. Her future hubby was in that class, and I remember Pam asking me, “Do you think Bill is cute? He asked me out.” Decades later they are still married. I think I told her that he was cute.
When we were young moms we wrote a humor gift book called, You Definitely Know You’re A Mom When… I still quote one of the lines that Pam hatched. …You’re looking forward to your upcoming colonoscopy appointment as some much needed quiet time away from the kids. (Or today, …quiet time away from work, doing laundry, away from fillintheblank. I think that book is still sold on Amazon. I should probably check.
I chose Pam’s interview as the December Funny AF Women feature because the Lobley’s Christmas cards were the highlight of my season. I would eagerly check my mailbox every day after Thanksgiving and if it was December 26th I would text Pam, “Where’s your card?” And her reply would be, “Ugh. It’s been hectic. All my friends have been asking.” They too NEEDED that card.
(See below for Pam’s favorite card and you’ll know why if there was a contest for the Funniest Christmas Card Ever, the Lobley’s would win.)
Without further ado, here’s Pam Lobley—
1. What were your life events that lead you to realize, “Hey, I’m pretty funny.”
My family always joked around and loved to laugh. We appreciated how laughter helped everything in life seem better, even the dark times. My older brother is particularly witty, so I think I learned from him. My parents definitely encouraged and appreciated all humor. They also openly appreciated comedians on TV like Flip Wilson, George Carlin, Bob Hope, etc. I think I understood from a young age it's a wonderful thing to be funny.
2. If you’re in a partnership, is he or she funny? Was/Is humor a requirement?
My husband Bill is hilarious and we laugh all the time. I could never fall in love with anyone who wasn't funny.
3. If you have a funny partner is there ever a joke competition or do you play well off each other?
We don't compete but we give each other funny ideas a lot.
4. Did being funny ever get in the way of school or work? How?
I tend to think everything is funny in some way, and in work environments, I have to be careful. Many people are threatened or uncomfortable around humor.
5. Was anyone ever threatened by your humor? Who? What happened?
I don't have any specifics, but you can feel the tension in the room when someone is trying to be light and playful and the rest of the room doesn't want to.
6. Can you tell me about a time when you turned something painful into something humorous?
Every freaking day!! Latest: my dog coughed and collapsed and now he needs an echocardiogram to check on his heart. I have been making little heart attack jokes to myself like, when we're walking and see a squirrel, I imagine the dog saying, "That thing's going to give me a heart attack!" I haven't shared these with anyone yet. Too soon.
7. Can you tell me about a time when you couldn’t muster anything funny and how it affected you? How long did it last? A day? Month? A year? How did you rebound from the unfunny funk?
I have crabby days where my sense of humor is weak. But it usually doesn't last.
8. Can you describe the type of humor you possess? Clever Wit, quick-with-a-joke, physical, goofball, aggressive, self-enhancing, self-deprecating, dark, observational, all the aforementioned or one I didn’t think of?
I would say: clever, goofball, self-deprecating, dark, observational.
9. Did your kid inherit your comedy skill?
Both kids are funny in their own ways.
10. Did your sense of humor change in the last 5 years? If so, how?
I don't know if my humor has changed, but I appreciate gentle humor more. The world is so dang mean.
11. What would be the title of your life right now?
"I'm Letting Go, I'm Moving On ... But First Just Let Me Tell You One More Thing." That is also the title of a book of essays I am working on.
Pam is the author of “Why Can’t We Just Play, What I Did When I Realized My Kids Were Way Too Busy,” a memoir of the summer she let her two over scheduled sons take the summer off from all activities and “just” play (available wherever books are sold). She is currently working as a copywriter for a creative marketing agency and writing a new book of essays (see above), and a series of romcom books. She continues to promote the value of play in children’s lives in blogs and on podcasts.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063789950691
Instagram: @pamlobley
Stay and chat!
1. Do you have an old friend where you guys met in a weird place or under unusual circumstances?
2. Any questions for Pam?
3. It seems that once parents are empty nesters, we no longer send out holiday cards. I’m starting a petition for the Lobley’s to continue their trend. They too stopped when their kids left home. Would you sign such a petition?
4. Did you know who Lee Strasberg was without looking at the footnote below?
*Lee Strasberg—brought method acting to the forefront of American theatre and film. From 1951-1982 he was the Artistic Director of the Actor’s Studio—an invitation-only club that challenged actors to work authentically, bringing up past personal experiences, including trauma, into their work. (The Actor’s Studio and The Lee Strasberg Theater Institute are still in business today.)
Very late to this, but I loved the story of your meeting. And what a great card!
Adore the card--inspired!!!