What's the Deal With Nextdoor?
people are complainy
Who is that annoying neighbor on Nextdoor?
If you’ve never heard of Nextdoor, here is their online community description: A global neighborhood in the United States, United Kingdom, the Netherlands, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Australia, Denmark, Sweden, and Canada using Nextdoor to meet, gather, exchange, and share.
I’d like to dissect this:
1. Meet—I haven’t met anyone. You can post or reply. If anyone uses the Chat feature it’s like someone knocking on your front door at 4am. Even so, I’m gracious like the time a young tattoo’d gal asked me to vote for her to be the next cover model on Inked Magazine. Why not?
2. Gather—There haven’t been any gatherings, parties, pickle ball clubs, etc. I did find a Maple Valley Ladies Running Club on Facebook. I don’t run.
3. Exchange—exchange what? Recipes? Socks?
4. Share—Yes. Nextdoor is definitely about sharing any and all information and it gets annoying.
Crime
I’m always surprised when I see someone posting that their car was broken into or stolen as though this is something new, like it’s never happened before. Some comments are supportive, but many are jaded —
“Where have you been?”
“Welcome to the neighborhood.”
“Yeah, I’ve had 5 cars stolen or broken into.”
If my neighbors were in an auditorium I’d say, Turn to your left, turn to your right, all of you will have your car broken into. And if you have a Kia, I’m sorry.
Busy Bodies
I think some neighbors are becoming enamored by their Ring camera. They post every passer by.
“There are two cars parked out front. Beware neighbors.”
Really? Two strange cars? Maybe the drivers needed a parking space. Maybe your neighbor is having a dinner party and didn’t invite you because you’re a busy body.
Or
“Someone let his dog pee on my lawn.”
Comments:
Was the dog on a leash?
Yes.
Do you have a Keep off my lawn sign?
No.
Do you know that dogs like to pee outside?… Do you have neighbors with dogs?… You might want to move.
Fellow Substackians
I posted on Notes (Substack’s Twitter/X) about this very topic and with the numerous example/replies I realized we could swap Nextdoor posts and no one would know the difference.
was called a Terrorist by a neighbor because she was training to hike Kilimanjaro and was using the same route every day. shared, “A man drove up my driveway last night at 8. Oh wait, it was Amazon.” And, “My toilet runs. What should I do?” Finally, my favorite, “To the person tailgating me today—what is your problem?”I have seen all of the above posts in my ‘hood too! We live in a Parallel— Neighborhood. Someone call Neil deGrasse Tyson. It’s a phenomenon.
adores Nextdoor because it’s the “funniest platform on the internet!” pointed out that kids can’t be kids anymore because of Ring. “Another poorly raised kid doing Ding Dong Ditch.”That was a favorite pasttime when I was a kid in Encino. Growing up in LA was so boring DDD was a fun, goof-off pastime.
said, “It’s like the people on Nextdoor sign a contract promising to be assholes.found her hairdresser on Nextdoor. A positive! It happens! was thinking of writing a piece about Nextdoor too. Great minds…. Wink wink.
Nextdoor Announcements
Animals
The number of lost dogs in a year could fill a stadium. I did learn that Husky’s are escape artists and could win the Most Lost Dog Award. They are closest to the wolf ancestry so their DNA tells them to get out of dodge. I feel for the Husky owners because inevitably someone will comment, “You are too irresponsible to own a pet.” Hey, blame the gene, buddy.
I do love seeing animals on people’s Rings but unfortunately it could cause an argument in the comments.
“Those animals were here first. You should move.”
“I’m a human. I have a right to be here.”
“Tell that to our governor…”
And then it gets political and people tell you how to vote. The rabbit hole on Nextdoor should be called a Rabbit Chasm, the Grand Bunny Canyon.
Back to Animals— (No, we don’t live on a nature preserve.)
Funny Award
This neighbor gets the Intentionally Funny Award. If you don’t laugh you probably live in a city. Trust me, it’s a hoot.
I’m sure I missed some really good Nextdoor postings. Share here:
SO GOOD, CK! Just sent you the only ND item I've ever posted that doesn't involve my search for a hairdresser. I've seen those movies about villagers with pitchforks. I know what can happen....
If I were to join Nextdoor, I’d have to use Gladys Kravitz as my name.