Playlists for Your To-Do List

In the old days it was on a cassette

When I hear the word playlist I think of ones that were painstakingly recorded on a cassette. Spotify is the new version. Easy peasy.

Either way, you can find songs for any mood, a memory.

Songs can bring up a plethora of emotions. I have found ditties to match my every mood. Some songs can inspire or force a feeling.

Example— I love Eva Cassidy but I inevitably become sad because the talented chanteuse died so young of melanoma. Get a tissue before clicking.

Over the Rainbow

Christmas songs always put me in a festive mood. (Even though I’m Jewish and it’s May.) You’ve heard this Mariah version about 1009 times in your local mall starting in the month of October.

All I Want For Christmas

Then there are songs that bring up the past:

Juke Box Hero

Any Foreigner song jolts me back to 8th grade-ish. I lost my concert virginity. This was my first live stadium concert I ever ever attended. It was a new friend who invited me. She was in the stoner clique, and I didn’t care. She was nice. Her parents organized the limo and she brought the weed. (Yes, two little eighth graders in a stretch limo headed to the Forum in Los Angeles. There may have been a third girl. I’m drawing a Foreigner blank.) I faked the puffage because I was nervous. When she asked me if I had a buzz, I didn’t know what that meant. I quickly deduced; Smoking ➡️ High ➡️ Buzz. I said, “Yes,” even though I didn’t feel anything. P.S. The Foreigner concert was BOR-ING. This was when I also discovered I didn’t like big venues. Give me CBGB’s (when I lived in NY and was a punk-rock-o-file) and I’m there.

And who can forget Nature’s Songs: (These are occasions when there shouldn’t be any music.)

Walking amongst trees— The wind rustling through branches creating a melodious hum.

Enjoying the Beach—The waves have a natural, soothing tempo.

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I got to thinking-- WHAT IF you can have a playlist for EVENTS? Your TO-DO list? Here are mine:

A Zoom meeting:

Yes, the name of this song is Zoom by a guy named Cheque. Though I don’t think it’s about streaming.

Zoom

Here’s another one called Zoom, by Fat Larry’s Band. (Where did this name come from? Must be Larry’s full, round voice.)

Zoom-- (again)

A Colonoscopy:

Lots of choices for this playlist. Here’s an old favorite by Spinal Tap.

Big Bottom

Bellow is a soothing kids song— actually a movie short— by Big Nate.

The Butt Cheeks Song

Pitch Perfect 2 has a song about Butts—

A Medley about Butts

A Gastroenterologist on Twitter suggests this NOT be your playlist: (@drkeithsiau)

Clipping Your Toenails:

Toenail Moon by Wee Hairy Beasties

Pink Toenails by the Dixie Chicks

Plunging A Toilet:

Clogged Up the Toilet by Alex Knappenberger. (I had to look up that name. Knappe is German for Young. Berger are those who live in the mountains. Youthful mountain folk?) BTW, this ode could be on the Colonoscopy play list too. Warning: Don’t click unless you want to be thoroughly disgusted. It’s gross— even for me.

The Plumbing Song by Weird Al. (Remember Weird Al? If not, you can watch the movie—a satire of biopics starring Danielle Radcliff— interesting choice for a comedy. Let me know if you’ve seen it.)

Caulking the bathtub:

Caulk Your Wagon by Team StarKid. Okay, I know. A wagon isn’t a bathtub but there was a dearth of songs to caulk by.

Masturbating:

Way too many songs to list.

1.     I can’t wait to hear your playlist. Put titles or links in the comments. (Does Substack allow links in the comments? We will find out.)

2.     If you’re not a music buff or buffy, tell me a memory.

Memory

(Barbra Streisand’s Memory; going off a cliff here. There’s a song for everything!)

P.S. A funny interpretation of the Pina Colada song here. (Alex is a comedy guru on the Stack.)